How does a woman arrive at the point of killing her husband? Is her failure due to her body, her marriage or history? Why does she want a child at all costs? And why does society stigmatize her if she doesn’t manage to have one?
We are in the Hungary of the 1980s, in the midst of goulash communism. A forty-year-old teacher, Lívia is waiting for the sentence of the court in a hospital where she lies as she had a heart attack after killing her husband. She is trying to piece together the mosaics of her life: how she met her husband, a well-known sportsman she had been in love with as a teenager; how they struggled to have a child and how they gave up; how they lived through the period of the regime change; and how they realized that they cannot escape each other.
Noémi Kiss’s novel breaks the silence around such taboos as infertility, the cumbersome procedure of adoption and child abuse.
A mother: not me.
ISBN 978 963 14 3254 1
2015, hard cover with jacket
296 pages, 123×184 mm
German, Europa Verlag
North Macedonian, ILI-ILI
Complete German text and English excerpt available